So I found a blogger today who recently had cancer and reading her blogs were so comforting. It's nice to read about someone who has experienced things that you are currently undergoing. It's just good to know that your not alone. I don't wish for anyone to experience cancer but I would enjoy a friend who just happens to be experiencing it at the same time as me. ;)
The last few chemo treatments have been a little harder on my body. I have been down for about 4 or 5 days each time. The first 2 days include some vomiting and the rest just nausea and a list of other random annoying side effects. I have this weird champagne saliva thing going on. My saliva bubbles and feels really thick. Yeah I know...GROSS! My throat and tongue muscles hurt too. Its weird but it only last a few days. I also just feel very out of it and drugged up (go figure). Also my vision is blurred and my ears are foggy. I have been having bathroom issues as well. I won't go into detail but I will say that I have to remind myself every time I sit on the toilet that I had a baby ALL NATURAL!!! Yeah you heard me....I have to encourage myself!!!! I thought that the only time I would be afraid to go the the bathroom was after having a baby. WRONG!!!! If anyone has any tips..Please share because I am not sure how long I can deal with the daily fear of the toilet!!!!
My eyelashes are probably half gone at this point and so are my eyebrows!. Hopefully I will keep some. I have to remind myself that they will grow back. It can be discouraging to look at myself in the mirror. I spend 5 minutes putting mascara on everyday!!!! That is way too much time to spend on your eyelashes when you spend nothing on you hair!!!!!
So with all that said chemo is not fun but I just remind myself that God is using it to heal me.
All of the nurses and ladies at the office are so sweet when I go to get my chemo. They are always so encouraging constantly telling me how beautiful I am and how much they all love my scarves and how cute I look. Sometimes I even feel cute! That is Gods work alone....and my amazing husband! All of the other patients just stare at me and make comments about how young I am. They become sad when they see me but when I got go to chemo I get all dressed up and put make up and jewelry on. Not many people do this. I decided the first time that I walked into that room that I wasn't gong to be one of those people who came in with a t shirt, pajama pants and a bandana on my head. Nothing against those people but I just wanted to look good and healthy and walk in there smiling at everyone. I decided that I wanted to be a light! I want to stand out and smile and love people. <3
I have chemo next Tuesday and God willing after I leave I will only have 3 more!!!!! I am not going to lie. I am getting tired and I just want to be normal again. I have to fight the desire to want to just fall asleep for 3 months and wake up healthy! Thank God for Paisley and how she is the most amazing distraction and I would never want to fall asleep and miss her next 3 months! So with that said we have to choose JOY and walk the path your given with the One who can lead you on it with the most grace. I try very hard not to complain and be thankful for life and the fact that I am alive and well. That's right...I AM WELL!!!! Keep praying my dear friends that in 3 months or less that I can say I AM HEALED!!!! I can't wait for that day!!! We're gonna celebrate big but for now......I need to go hang out with my husband and get some needed sleep!
LOVE and BLESSINGS!!!
Keep those prayers coming for my sweet family!!! <3
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
I am feeling good tonight and feel like sharing some things with all of you.
FIRST and MOST IMPORTANTLY this post must start off with the fact that I really do have the MOST AMAZING husband in the world. I have been wanting to share this for awhile. In honor of his very first Fathers Day I will share now. You have all been so amazing to me these past few months. You have showered me with so much love and I am so so grateful. You will never know how much it has helped me through each day. Some of you mention in letters and in phone calls how you think often of Greg and that you never forget to pray for him and that means so much to me. I feel most of the time he is the one who deserves all of the gifts and cards and calls and encouragement. I would like to give you all a glimpse into Gregs life for the past 4 months.
What I am tempted to do is write out his whole schedule for a week and give you an hour by hour look into that schedule but because I am lazy (remember...the reason I haven't written) I will not do that. What I will do is give you a list of daily tasks
4.take care of Mommy
5.Take care of Paisley (feed,change,play and love)
6.cook AND clean up
7.laundry- wash and fold
THE LIST GOES ON. Yes, for the most part Greg does everything and well I do very little.
Honestly I don't know how he gets it all done and may I add that He got ALL A's in school with the exception of a wine class where he got a B.
Why am I telling you this? Mostly because I want you to know how amazing my husband is and I feel like he deserves some kind of award!! You also must know that NOT ONCE has he complained. On top of all that he still makes me feel so loved and beautiful. He makes me feel comfortable walking around with no make up, no hair and thinning eyelashes and eyebrows. I thought I would be embarrassed and feel ugly but somehow he manages to make me feel good (I have my moments) about myself.
Not only does he take care of the "list" but he does even more than that. He makes sure I am all set up when he goes to work. He fills up my water cup and gets me anything I need before he leaves. It's just the little things. ;)
So please all of you Pray for my Super Husband and my Super Dad!!!!!! I am so blessed!!!!!!!!!!
The guy had no idea what he was getting himself into when he spoke those sweet and sacred words "Through sickness and health.....". I LOVE YOU GREG!!! You truly are my knight and shining armor. You indeed get to rescue your maiden every day!!!!!!!! <3